"What is it With You and Spiders?"

That's the question I was asked on Thursday morning, as I pulled up to the Ford dealership to give Tina and co. a lift to school, and we discovered a significant-sized spider clinging to the back of my new car.

Ok, back up. So first off, I'd like to address the fact that I seem to have angered many reliable readers by leaving the Hummer post up for so long. It was disturbing, they say, to log in each day, only to be greeted by the same disgusting scene of Hummer on my hallway floor. This "torture" was the inspiration of one of Amy's posts on her blog.

Please understand. As the writer, I am charged with the tremendous responsibility of getting my feelings and emotions across to you, dear reader, with only the 26 letters of the alphabet. And the occasional photo. Quite a task.

You think it's easy being me?

Some ideas are easier to convey than others. In the case of Hummer, I knew I had a daunting task ahead of me, to get my reader to truly shiver with the horror of what I had discovered in the sanctuary of my home. I knew my words would be a good start, I knew the picture would be a huge help, but most of all, I knew that by leaving Hummer up for so long, by forcing my readers to confront this monstrosity day after day, that the emotions would truly leave the page on the screen and begin to make an impression on my reader.

Ok, so this is really just a load of bullshit. I've been busy. Holy mother of god. I've been really really busy. Hummer just came along at an unfortunate time for us all. I'm sorry about it, all right?

So we're back to Thursday morning. You know, with Tina?

As Binta and I leave the house to get Tina and co, I discover a spider has made a web which extends from the gutter of my house to the back of my car.

Tina has a saying: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results each time."

Well, my friends, I have a spider who is in need of a straight-jacket living at my house. Each morning, as I leave, I see this idiot has once again built his web in the same location, stretching from the gutters of the house to the back window of my car. Each morning, I fire up my car, pulling his house apart as I coast down the driveway.

Actually, I guess the straight jacket will now need to be delivered to the Ford dealership. For this time, as I pulled away from the house, I pulled the spider with me. He hitched a ride all the way to where Tina and co. were waiting for their ride to school.

"What is it with you and spiders?" Tina asked as she removed her shoe and removed the spider from my car.

Well, now he lives at the Ford dealership. He's got plenty of cars to build webs on now.