I Didn't Know Parenting Would be This Hard...

It all started when I asked Binta, several weeks ago, what she would like for Christmas. She immediately responded that she'd like a "Little Wermaid Kitchen" [sic]. I did a little research on the computer and quickly discovered the unflattering reviews left from some disgruntled consumers who pointed out how difficult the kitchen was to put together. Those who were able to successfully piece it together, were quick to mention what poor quality it was, how difficult it was to operate, and how several pieces had already cracked. I investigated the floor model at Toys R Us and confirmed that the grouchy reviewers were not just looking for something to gripe about - the floor model had already taken a bit of a beating.

I attempted to dig deeper, to find out just what it was that Binta really liked about the Little Mermaid Kitchen. Was it really the fact that it had a female half-fish character beaming from the stove top?

Of course it wasn't. When I clicked through some of the other photos available on the product, Binta became highly animated when this image appeared:

"See the eggs? It has eggs with it!" Just as I had suspected. Ariel, screw off.

I can find fake eggs for less than $69.99.

And I did. I found an entirely suitable substitute kitchen with play food (including fake fried eggs) for $49.99. And it looks to be of a stronger type of plastic that will not crack so easily.

Yesterday, as I dressed her in her red couduroy dress for her visit to Santa, I got a little smug and asked, "So, what are you going to tell Santa you want for Christmas?"

She responded, "A Sponge Bob Square Pants camera!"

Huh?

"What are you talking about? You said you wanted a Little Wermaid Kitchen!"

"Well I saw a Sponge Bob Square Pants camera on TV, and I want that so I can take pictures. I don't need eggs, anyway."

To be honest with you, I'm not sure if I was more disappointed that she had switched on me without notice, or that her new request involved (ack!) Sponge Bob.

Well, my research for this product revealed not only that the camera runs around $40.00, but that it is a digital camera recommended for kids 8 and older.

Hideous, isn't it?

So far, Binta has requested two items for Christmas, neither of which she has a chance of getting. But she's pretty sure she will, because she informed my mother of such this afternoon. Mom, being a quick thinker, used this opportunity to prepare Binta for the likely fact that she will not, in fact, be snapping Christmas photos with Bob this year. She did it gently and logically, explaining that just as Santa will not be bringing Nana a cane this year, because Nana's not yet old enough, nor will Santa be bringing Binta a Sponge Bob Square Pants camera this year, because she, too, is not old enough. Nicely done. Sounded good to me.

Binta, however, clearly crestfallen, retreated to her bedroom. Door closed.

Another pickle. Now what?

When Binta emerged, red-eyed and puffy, she mumbled something about how she's worried she's not going to get any toys for Christmas. The next 20 minutes involved tears, arguing, attempts to comfort and assure, attempts to redirect and distract, followed by a final strategy of "some kids don't get anything at all for Christmas." None of which were successful. Binta, usually the master Drama Queen, was not being dramatic at all. She was clearly heart-broken.

I quickly ran through some of my options: buy the damn camera, take back the kitchen, or plow through and "let this be one lesson, of many to come, that life is filled with disappointment."

Or, quickly pull out one of her littler toys I had reserved for her stocking, as evidence that she would, in fact, be getting toys for Christmas.

Ranking right up there as some of the hardest mothering minutes I've logged since taking her home from the hospital - I felt a few tears surfacing as she hugged me and thanked me for the $3.99 toy that she held in her hands - proof that happiness would prevail and she would receive toys this Christmas after all.