The Super Full-Time Employed Single Mommy of a Three Year Old: Exposed!

My bed: made!
Binta's bed: made!
Laundry: scattered all over the house. Oh, well...
In the Attic: What it's really like to be a single mom

What kind of post does one write when she should be at work the first day back from Spring Break, but isn't, due to the fact that her child's daycare is closed? You write The Truth About the Hard Life as a Single Parent!

Beginning, of course, with:
1. When your child's daycare is suddenly closed due to Easter Monday (or any other reason for daycare closure), you have to call in sick to stay home with your child.
2. Any time your child is sick, you must stay at home with your child.
3. Any time you yourself are sick, you hope that it is on a week day, so that you may take your child to daycare so you can take lots of drowsiness-causing medication and bury yourself under a thick pile of blankets until 4:30 PM, at which time you must go pick your child up from daycare.
4. If however, you wind up sick on a weekend (or a day your daycare is closed, like Easter Monday) you still have to feed, dress, and change diapers (or clean up potty accidents, thank god we're out of diapers now!), even though you feel like sticking your head in the disposal and turning it on.

So, as you can see, sickness of any kind causes all kinds of challenges for the single parent. Keep in mind, I have the same number of sick days as employees who are married, and employees who have no children at all. Fortunately, Binta and I have had a remarkably healthy year so far!

It's hard to get time with other adults:
5. When a guest visits you, you get about 25% of the guest's time, as your child seizes upon the new target of her attention.
6. When you go to visit a friend, you must pack a bag of activities to occupy your child while away from home. Keep in mind, however, that your child will want nothing to do with anything you packed. She will, of course, find fascination with every possible non-child proofed item in your friend's house. (Especially dangerous are your childless friends. Visits with them are an exercise in anxiety, as you pull one breakable knick-knack after another out of her hand and chase her from one uncovered outlet to the next).

Spending all of your time with a child has its challenges:
7. You crave adult conversation like warm, salted, buttery popcorn.
8. Thus, you eat a lot of popcorn.
9. You are held "captive" in your own home every night after 8:30. That's right, no going out for a latte or a pint of ice cream. After you put your kid in bed, there's no going out again until morning.
10. Sometimes you discover you need something really important, like milk for the next morning, or heartburn medication for all the popcorn you've been eating. Nope. Must wait until AM.

You find out that you're not the parent you thought you'd be, and you cease from judging other parents on their parenting decisions:
11. You use the TV as a babysitter way more than you ever thought you would.
12. You come to love Barney even more than your child, because he will guarantee you a minimum of 26 uninterrupted minutes of peace.
13. Your house is always trashed, and there never seems to be a good enough reason to clean.
14. You hear yourself snap at your child with impatience when she continues to whine or cry.
15. When you are able to stop yourself from snapping at her, it's due to the fact that you have barricaded yourself into your room, holding on to the doorknob so she can't enter. If you're in the car, you continue to talk to yourself: "I will remain calm. I am at peace." Repeat as necessary.
16. On occasion, you give in to the bribe strategy, to avoid that one last issue that you know will send you right over the edge if she decides to fight.

It's really hard to not have a second person to call in: like an understudy, a relief pitcher, or just the next runner in the relay. It's all you. All day. Every day.

You learn new things about government organizations that address child support enforcement:
17. DSHS is CRAP!

But, of course, this post would not be complete, without the biggest item on the list describing life as a single parent:

18. You get to take ALL of the credit for how cool your kid is! Every time someone comments about how cute, polite, well-spoken, clever, entertaining, and intelligent your child is, you get to smile and respond, "Thank you. I think she's pretty __________, too!" Knowing that you, all by yourself, are solely responsible for all of the wonderful things your child is learning and the close, loving relationship that you share.

And I do!